Instagram

Instagram

I've had my account for a couple of years now but mostly just posted pictures of my dogs or crafts I had made. It was only around the time of my 3rd IUI (January 2014) where I started to post pictures of my journey. Each day I had to take my Menopur injection I would try and come up with an original way to photograph the process, it helped to make that part of the journey easier and that way I could also document what each injection day looked like so it was fun. I would hashtag things like #infertility #pcos #ttc #menopur #injections #infertilitysucks #babydust #hopethisworks #icandothis and so on. To my surprise it opened up a whole new community and suddenly instagram became really important to me threw the iui process. Women on there from all over the world are so supportive of one and other, saying sweet comments to cheer each other up after a failed cycle, cheering each other on to be brave to inject ourselves, encouraging each other to never give up and to keep hope. I can honestly say that it really opened up my eyes and heart. I'm so grateful and happy that I've found a great community of strangers who all have different but similar journeys all with the same end goal.. "a family".

If you'd like to follow me, my IG name is : nadine_bw

The Infertile Mrs.White

I'm back! (To blogging that is)

I'm going to make a update post real soon!!! Work and life have been a little crazy around here... I keep meaning to sit down and write a great "life update" post but never get around to it. Soon I promise because getting back on track with my infertility blog is my new goal so I can keep it as a keepsake and look back and see what this journey was all about. The good, the bad and all the Inbetween that makes this journey a hell of a rollercoaster ride! So stay tune :)

Nadine 

Miss you like crazy bff

I made this card for my best friend who's pregnant with her second baby boy. We live a couple provinces away from each other now so I miss her like crazy and wish I could be more present in her life right now. Distance and time difference between us makes it so hard to keep in touch often so I wanted to send her a little something special to remind her I'm always here no matter what and that I miss her so much!! Below is a little sneak peak picture of the card I made. If you check out my craft blog at pumpkinspice-life.blogspot.com you can find a TON more pregnancy and ttc cards I've made. I've had babies on the mind a lot lately with everyone around me being pregnant and all so I guess i could say I've been inspired to pump out a bunch of pregnancy cards so go check it out and feel free to leave a comment!! I always enjoy knowing what people think about my crafts :) 

Pregnancy card for a fellow ttcsister

Little sneak peak at a card I made for a fellow TTC who just got her BFP couple weeks ago. I had signed up for a TTCExchange and was paired up with a lady who got her BFP couple days after signing up under "trying to conceive" category. So we did a exchange infertile and trying vs newly pregnant. :P I'll talk more about the exchange soon in a new post. :)

The Infertile Mrs White 

Mother's Day

This was my facebook status today:

"Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's and mom's-to-be. Also today can be a very hard and difficult day for many women out there, to those who lost their mom's, to those who never knew their mom and especially to the women who being a mom is all they ever dream/think about.. may today remind you to keep holding strong, keep having faith in something completely out of your control and never loose hope that one day your little mircle will happen. I'd like to point out.. in my dreams my future little girl looks just like this... a perfect blend of Brad and I with an extra side of cuteness... One day.. one day."

Thought I'd post it on here as well to remind all the beautiful women out there to keep holding on and that your not alone.. For the sake of facebook and the people on it I kept it light and very positive.... for the sake of my personal blog... today is not a good day... today is a very very hard day and I'm having trouble coping threw the day and keeping it together.. I'm surrounded by friends with young children and many many friends who are currently pregnant. Facebook is plastered with happy mommy-child pictures and for some reason this year Mothers's Day isn't about my own mom but focused on the lack of my own family. It doesn't help that my mom and mom-in-law are both many provinces away and today I feel more lonely then ever. Maybe if I were able to have spend some time with my siblings and mother I'd feel a little more hopeful. So hard to keep pushing threw and being so positive when months turn into years.. into more years.. into feeling like something that will never happen... 

I want to be able to look into the eyes of my child, a child I created out of all the love my husband and I have for each other, our own flesh and blood.. I want to be able to look into the eyes of something we created together and see myself "us" in them.. I want to see those little eyes looking back at me.. 

I wish I was part of some sort of infertility group.. a group of woman who meet up from time to time to talk, vent and share stories and to make it threw days like today together.

The Infertile Mrs.White

Been a while

Man of man.

Sorry I've been so MIA lately. No it's not because I'm pregnant and keeping it a secret or anything fun like that. I've actually started a couple posts here and there... Everyday I think of a post I could write but I never write it. In the end it always revolves around the same thing and I'm so tired of bitching and complaint about it post after post so I kept it in.. Bottled it all up for weeks and told myself to grow some balls and stop being so depressed and sad all the time. Well the truth is... That didn't work.. Only made how I feel worst. 

My name is Nadine and I'm an angry Infertile. 

That's the bottom line. 

There are soooo many women out there with way worst cases then mine and they (not all but many) have been getting their BFP's and I just don't know how to handle it. I'm sooo overly happy for everyone but also soooo overly sad and mad at myself that I just can't make it work. Seriously how fregan hard is it... Sperm meets egg, egg turns into a baby. But nope somehow I get to fail miserably at that and I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. 

I'm scared... Scared shitless I'll never get my happy ending and that's what's eating me alive. Every new pregnancy I hear or gender reveal or births reminds me of another missed chance.. Of another month and year gone by where my kids won't get to grow up and be in the same grade as my friends kids. That I'll be that older first time mom.

Everyone gets to go threw all their kids firsts and experience all the love and amazingness kids bring into their lives and I'm stuck.. I had such a life planned for myself and feels like the years are just flying by and the whole time I've wasted it wishing and living threw everyone else's experiences. I'm tired of watching.. I wanna be part of the mom-to-be gang and the cool mom on the block.. I can't wait to make countless baby albums, make a bunch of cool fun crafts for my kids to bring to school... make them lunches, cook for them, clean up after them, spoil them, create memories, teach them, watch them grow and learn from them as well. I know having kids isn't easy and you don't sleep and all your money goes into raising them but I already know all this. Since I was really young I knew what being a mom meant and all the sacrifices it in-tales and I couldn't wait.. I'm a mom at heart and I can't wait to rock it.

Nadine.

My 28th Birthday Road-trip to BC!!!!

For my 28th birthday, my husband planned a little getaway road-trip to Abbotsford Bc. We both really love road-trips and figured nothing more beautiful then driving threw the mountains for 12ish hours.

Here's are a couple pictures of my birthday trip :) (April 18th)

We left at about 1:50am and had planned to be in Abbotsford by noon if all went well :)

Leaving snowy Innisfail Alberta behind we were so excited and tired!!

Coffee in hand we were ready!!

The first 1.5 hours we drove threw really thick fog.. 

A little map on my iphone to show where about's we were.

Sun was starting to slowly rise at this point. After we had driven for many many hours already

drove threw a pretty crazy slippery snowstorm towards the top of the mountains..

this part was really scary as it was sooo foggy out, it was still dark sun was only starting to peak out a little and the snow was just coming down like crazy and we had so many sharp turns to take.. it was def really really stressful! 

We stopped for breakfast at Denny's at around 6am. We had been on the road already for about 4 hours and awake for about 6. We were really hungry and needed some fuel to keep driving in the really crappy weather!

 We would drive threw rain, fog, then thick snow, then rain, then slush.. the weather was so unpredictable.. it was thick fog for a huuuge portion of the trip.

I believe this was the highest elevation we cought on the gps... 1438m.

Finally a litle bit of sunshine!

then back to snow-slush-rain-fog

We finally made it to our hotel!! Safe and sound. We were soooo happy to be out of the car at this point haha.. we took a nice little/long nap before going out for an early birthday supper!! :) 

Our hotel room :) 

Our hotel room wasn't anything special.. we rather pay less for the hotel since we didn't plan on staying in much and that way we would save alot of money to go out and explore!! 

The Cactus Club literally riiight across from our hotel so we walked over for supper!

This was the view from our hotel parking lot.. I took this pic as we were walking to Cactus Club.

I was sooo tired at this point but happy to be out celebrating with my hubby in BC!

I had the "Nothing but pink" drink :P

Our meals!!!! Man it was sooooo delisious.. I ordered this exact meal last year for my birthday and was excited to experience it again haha. Every single bite was mouth watering.. especially after a long trip in the car! 

My meal was the one on the bottom called "BBQ Duck Clubhouse" AMAZING!!!!

For dessert we ordered these to share. They had a promotion going on that for every dessert you ordered a certain amount of the proceeds went to help make a sick child's wish come true so they came out with candles on every single dessert they sold that weekend for the whole "wish come true". It was very cute and fitting for my birthday haha even if no one had any idea it was my birthday. I made my husband promise he wouldn't embarrass me haha.

This was an amazing latte... peeerfect to finish off a good meal and a long day!

I was a happy girl haha! I only ended up having a couple small bites of this dessert it was waaaay too rich for me.. so eat the cheesecake instead yuum!!

So much more happened and pictures were taken during our trip.. but thought I'd share a glimpse of our road-trip up to Abbotsford and my birthday dinner out :) 

The Infertile Mrs.White