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Thursday, September 26, 2013

Reasons why this life style change is so important to me

Reasons why this life style change is so important to me

- I'm tired of being fat (over weight) 
- I'm tired of not feeling comfortable in my own skin.
- I'm tired of feeling like I need to hide behind baggy clothes.
- I'm tired of starting a diet and quitting it couple days in.
- I'm tired of not owning a single pair of jeans because I cant find a single pair that fits
- I'm tired of living off my tights and long shirts because pants don't fit me properly anymore.
- I'm tired of having to feel the need to wear a shaper top under my loose tops
- I'm tired of not feeling sexy
- I'm tired of my face breaking out into acne when my hormones are all messed up
- I'm tired of being sad all the time.
- I'm tired of not feeling like myself
- I'm tired of being scared to be a overweight pregnant lady
- I'm tired of having to buy X-large clothes when I used to fit comfortably in a Medium!
- I'm tired of my back hurting because I tend to huntch forward because breast are heavy.
- I'm tired of thinking that maybe my weight is a way bigger issue infertility wise then I think
- I'm tired of having high cholesterol, this scared she crap out of me daily.
- I'm tired of not reflecting the person I am inside to the person I am on the outside.
- I'm tired of not feeling like I can express myself, the real me because I'm always hiding.
- I'm tired of not being able to wake up in the morning and throw any piece of clothes on and feel good.
- I'm tired of feeling like my husband deserves a better wife (sexier, happier, healthier)
- I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself.
- I'm tired of being tired!



**** I re-read this post the next day and realized that I made myself sound like I was a hippo!!
I am not a huge unhealthy blob who only eats fast food!! I'm just a girl who is unhappy with her CURRENT weight size. I used to fit very comfortably in Medium size clothing.. lately I seem to only be able to fit into X-Large clothes (doesn't help that my breast have also grown alot, makes it even harder to find tops that fit!) and this is why I feel HUGE and really really not comfortable in my own body. I want to be the weight I was before because I remember how happy and confident I felt and I want that positive happy feeling back. For a girl with my health issues (Pcos, hypothyroidism and high cholesterol) loosing weight and keeping it off is essential. My GOAL is to no longer have high cholesterol and with the help of my Fertility Doc get my thyroid under control for once. My crappy thyroid plays a HUGE part in me gaining weight so easily and keeping it on and having A LOT of trouble loosing it. With my thyroid medication dosage increase I can already feel a huge different in my energy level. I just did blood work on Tuesday to check where my levels are at and they usually call me within a week to up my dosage so expecting a call sometime next week. It feels good to know I'm finally gaining control over it. (slowly but surely!).

Also I wanted to make it clear that I do eat 'healthy'.. I love my fruits and veggies and always pack them in my lunch, I make alot of homemade food, eat it for supper and leftovers for lunch. I always try and eat the healthier alternative but like any other person, I love my pasta, my bread and my chocolate! My problem is to be able to actually loose a significant amount of weight fast I need to cut it all out cold turkey. I've tried all types of diets and eating better but it's still never enough.. With my thyroid it feels close to impossible to just make healthier choices and loose weight.. I've been doing that for months and years and it's not enough.. So to see a difference within weeks and months I need to make a dramatic change. "Eat Clean" and that's huge because that means all my meals have to be made from scratch with fresh produce. No more quick spaghetti, pasta meals, homemade pizza or sandwiches.. Hello grilled chicken, quinoa salad and side of broccoli. Whenever I get my 2 week meal plan made up I'll try and post them on here in case anyone has suggestions to make things taste better or would like recipes for themselves to try out :) I'm hoping this works and sticks :).

The Infertile Mrs.White