Total Pageviews

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


Today was not such a great positive day.

I don't know what happened but all of a sudden I woke up with a panicky feeling. I couldn't shake the fact that what happenes if this cycle doesnt work? What's next? This made me really nervous all day and my mind has been going all over the place.

I was very positive threw all of this up to today. Today I feel like all the "what if's" have fallen on me all at once.

The Infertile Mrs.White 

Monday, January 27, 2014


I got my scheduled bloodwork done today and if all goes according to plan Id have another bloodwork to do February 5th (15DP-IUI) to confirm pregnancy.

Okay.. So I'm totally guilty of poas this morning... I know better and I know it's only 7days post iui but I couldn't help it I wanted to know/make sure the trigger shot was out of my system... Sure enough there was the faintest line on the stick!!! I kinda freaked out by myself this morning... But convinced myself it must be the ending of trigger shot lingering in my body.. The trigger dosage was extremely high...  Although... I triggered 9 days ago... I thought it would be out of my system around this time. And technically my "hoping" fertilized egg wouldn't implant till day 6-8 so I'd be right in that period but it shouldn't show up yet... I wish I would have taken a picture of it.. Will try when I get home from work if the line is even still there! 

So... The weirdest thing happened to me Saturday night.. I was laying in bed, it was really late and I wanted to relax and empty my mind so I put on my Cycle and Bloom Cd on my iPod and put my earphones on (hubby had been sleeping for hours he worked early next day and I had been up all night making crafts haha) So I'm completely relaxed my mind is empty and suddenly I feel this weird pinch feeling in my uterus (pretty sure it was uterus because it wasn't pain in my ovaries that I know all to well and it wasn't my stomach area) but ya.. It was quick and sudden then nothing. It totally got me out of my zen I looked at the time and it was 1:03am. Could this have been implantation?? Wouldn't it be way too early being it was the night of 5DP-IUI?? Since then I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe it was a sign that this time will be our time.. I don't know.. Can't help but have a little bit of hope. 

- still extremely sore breast.. They still feel very swollen, full, heavy and hurt just slightly touching them. 
- random very mild cramping today. I was driving in my car and suddenly could feel weird cramping but nothing serious.
- no headaches lately witch is awesome for someone like me who gets chronic migraines! Feeling pretty good about that. 
- my jeans are suddenly too tight :( either I'm bloated or gaining weight from not exercising. (Have been in too much pain and extremely tired from work to think about going to the gym plus way too scared and wouldn't risk it during this super important 2ww!! Wouldn't want it to not implant properly but def feeling the pounds :( Wondering if it's also my body reacting to all the hormones I've been pumping it with the past couple weeks... Not too happy about the weight gain tho :( I feel so bloated. 
- my gluten-free diet is still going strong.. Only cheated 2 times once for our wedding anniversary dinner and the next day I eat my leftovers because I was too exhausted from work to eat it all that night. 

The Infertile Mrs.White

Saturday, January 25, 2014


Prometrium day 5

Click here --> Prometrium Side Effects to check out the website where I got the information below from.

What side effects are possible with Prometrium?
Many medications can cause side effects. A side effect is an unwanted response to a medication when it is taken in normal doses. Side effects can be mild or severe, temporary or permanent.
The side effects listed below are not experienced by everyone who takes this medication. If you are concerned about side effects, discuss the risks and benefits of this medication with your doctor.
The following side effects have been reported by at least 1% of people taking this medication. Many of these side effects can be managed, and some may go away on their own over time.
Contact your doctor if you experience these side effects and they are severe or bothersome. Your pharmacist may be able to advise you on managing side effects.

  • abdominal pain or cramping
  • acne
  • bloating or swelling of ankles or feet
  • blood pressure increase (mild)
  • breast pain or tenderness
  • brown spots on exposed skin, possibly long-lasting
  • dizziness
  • drowsiness
  • headache (mild)
  • hot flashes
  • loss of sexual desire
  • loss or gain of body, facial, or scalp hair
  • mood changes
  • nervousness
  • swelling of face, ankles, or feet
  • trouble sleeping
  • unusual or rapid weight gain
The Infertile Mrs.White

Thursday, January 23, 2014


Prometrium day 3 , 2 times a day.

OMG my boobs are sooo sore!!!!! Like no matter what I do their extremely sore and swollen. Even just having a bra on hurt but without one hurts more. I can't even cuddle and hug my husband I want nothing near them their so sore!!!! Ughhhh I wonder what it's from?? I'm guessing the ridiculously high dosage of trigger shot and most likely the progesterone. Either way I feel very uncomfortable for the past couple days. When I walk around I actually hold them so they don't move and hurt.. but the fact of touching them hurts so it's a loose loose situation.

The Infertile Mrs.White 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

CD17 1DP-IUI Prometrium D1

Today was my first time taking the Prometrium tablets 100mg each. I am to insert 2 capsules every morning and 2 every night. So far it went good today. Not sure if any of my side effects were due to that though. Never took that much progesterone in my life!

Symptoms... (most likely left over side effects from trigger shot)

- My breast are extremely sore, swollen and hurt to touch. Just my bra hurts them.
- Everywhere below my bellybutton hurts like crazy, feels incredibly sore and swollen
- When I walk, my lower abdominal area hurt and makes me walk funny
- When I sit, I have to slough uncomfortably to avoid pressure on my lower abdomen area
- My face boils up and becomes all red and my chest also gets really red and hot at random times of the day
- Headache
- Gassy for no reason
- Emotional
- Tired

Last night we had sex as the nurse advised us to. She said it ups our chances. So we did and OMG I was in soooo much pain during and after :( I woke up this morning in even more pain. My whole lower area below my belly button hurt like crazy, everything felt sore to the touch and even if I was just laying/sitting/standing there it would hurt . It made me grumpy all day and I was soo uncomfortable and miserable but I had to work today so it really didn't help.

The Infertile Mrs.White

Monday, January 20, 2014


I poas at 5:30am (I was up early to shower and stuff) We left house at 7am and check it out, my beautiful FALSE bfp.. Hahaha wish I could reproduce this exact test in two weeks!!! 
Here's how my day went... IUI#3!!!!!!!!!!

Got to the clinic for 9:25..  Hubby went into the small men's room and produced a nice looking sample of sperm. Then we waited patiently in the waiting room while they took good care of washing them and all that fun stuff. Here were his lab results.. 

Here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Gosh I'm so excited, finally all done with those harsh Menopur injections, strong trigger shot out of the way and definitely feeling it in my body still... and finally here we go.. sperm gets to meet my egg!!!! The next two weeks are gonna be the longest weeks ever!!

Gross tools. Bah.

This is how babies are made when your an infertile woman.. haha.. Had to add a little bit of comedy to all the stress and pressure we've been under..

After the IUI I get to stay laying down for 10 minutes.. they put a timer on for us and everything.. wish it was longer but I'll take what I can.

My good luck charm! I've had this clear elephant since I was really young and I keep it safe in my treasure box :P Pulled it out for this 3rd IUI.. Really hoping third times a charm!

Me laying down during the 10 minutes.. imagining the swimmers swimming real fast to get to the prize!! Really hoping for the best and can't help but feel happy at this point. My body cooperated this time around and it did all it could up to this point.. It's out of my hands now.

My husband giving me looks.. I was trying to get a good picture of him sitting there haha and he kept giving me funny looks...

There we go! That's the shot I wanted!!!!

There we go! IUI is officially done...

It's all out of our hands now!!

Now on to the longest 2ww EVER!

My legs look so deformed here hahaha.. I like this picture though because I was admiring all the success stories up on the board in the hallway of baby fame :) Hoping I'll have my little miracle(s) up there soon!!!

The Infertile Mrs.White

Sunday, January 19, 2014

CD15 Hcg shot is working it's magic & False bfp

Check it out... my FALSE BFP test haha.. I like peeing on a stick the morning after taking the trigger shot because it will always show that it's positive and the ovulation test always shows that your fully ovulating haha. I get a kick out of it and it's the only time I get to see a test that I produced being positive. So.. there it is :)

Man oh man.. I think I ginx myself when I woke up this morning. I went to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast and said to myself "yeah this is pretty great, I thought I'd be in pain today from the trigger shot" and was all smiles that I wasn't in pain for once.

Sure enough in the afternoon the pain kicked in. We were at the grocery store and I leaned up again the table that held the apples to reach that perfect one way in the back (haha) and when I leaned over my stomach puched against the table and it hurt really bad.. sure enough I got home and looked at my injection area.. I had a purple bruise what looks like a small burst vein and the area was a bit swollen and definitly really sore to the touch. In the late afternoon my ovaries area were really hot to the touch and I could definitly feel something was working it's magic in there.

My husband and I were watching a movie on Netflix when all of a sudden out of no where I got this weird shooting pain in my right ovary... Something I had never felt before and it only lasted a couple seconds. That's when I was like YES!!! It's so messed up to say but I actually felt my follicle leave my ovary!! It was the coolest thing ever and my husband was laughing at me because I was trying to explain to him how it felt and I couldn't stop smiling.. I kept telling him "here we go!!" It also felt really good to know the trigger shot was definitly working because about 2 hours later my left ovary kinda kicked in.. I could feel alot of weird pressure and discomfort in there.. It's really hard to explain.

We are soooooo excited and anxious for tomorrow!!!
I will feel 100 times better tomorrow AFTER the IUI is done.. I want his swimmers inside me fighting for that one big perfect looking follicle.. We want this sooo bad and we're like little kids on their birthday haha. I have a feeling we wont be sleeping much tonight.. too excited!!!!!!

IUI is tomorrow at 10am!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Happy Infertile Mrs.White

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Trigger Time!!!

It's trigger time @ 10:30pm !!!! 

I injected myself tonight.. All alone like a big girl :p. The injection went well but about 5 minutes later it started to sting a lot and that's when I was like "oh okay yah I feel it now". The last two iui's my trigger shot was Ovidrel... This time it's some pretty hard core stuff. Is it just me or does 10,000 USP units seem a little much?!! When I first brought this home I was like OMG!! Looks so scary so I ended up looking up on YouTube videos of how to mix it and inject it properly. I accedently told the pharmacist that I knew how to use it kinda forgetting it's not Ovidrel this time. The two bottles are a lot bigger then I've seen so far so I was def intimidated by them. 

Once I started mixing them and got the injection all ready to go it didn't seem to scary anymore. I was so relieved and happy to get to trigger tonight that it trumped over my needle phobia and the pain I was anticipating. I injected subcue in my stomach area.. To be exact to the left of my belly button and down an inch. (That was a good spot for me). 

The Infertile Mrs.White

CD14 Follow Up #3

The Verdict

Menopur: N/A (all done!)
HCG: Trigger @ 10pm!!!
E2: 1175
Lining: 12

Right Ovary: 21 (OMG!!)
Left Ovary: 11 & 12 (didn't grow?) 

My lining 

Right ovary (looks so small because view is really zoomed out compared to usual). 

Left ovary (view is really zoomed out) 11 & a 12 and many others he didn't measure (prob between sizes 8-10) my follicles were hiding in this picture.. in the video you can see them really well.

Looks like that big sucker over powered all the other follicles.. 
I will post the video soon, you'll see.. the left ovary is still full of smaller follicles and the 11 suddenly looked bigger.. it still amazes me watching them grow from appointment to appointment (3 days apart).. they change so much from day to day.. they grow or in this case shrink? Either way I'm extremely happy with that great big follicle.. it was so perfectly shaped to, defenitly reassured me that's for sure. I'll admit though my first instinct was panic, I didn't understand what happened to my 11 and my 14.. how 3 days later I get a 21 and what seems like all the others dissapeared it's weird. I was expecting at least 2 follicles to size so when I only saw one I panicked because I wanted the most chances possible and I want twins more then anything. I just keep telling myself "It only takes ONE!". I can't wait to trigger tonight. Today is a good day :) 

This is how my morning/day played out 
Left home at 6:45am
This was the view about a little over an hour into my drive up.. the gorgeous sunrise!

Got to the blood lab building at 8:30am
Washroom breaks and bloodwork done 
Rushed to fertility clinic there for 9:00am
I'm about 7th in line. Once again many lady's in the waiting room but not as full as last apt! Sooo happy I left home extra early!! On top of it Bonus it's MY Dr who's doing the morning ultrasounds so I'm off to a good start!

Then this is what I saw on the ultrasound monitor!!! CRAZY!!! This just made my day go from okay to great! Took so much stress and worry off my shoulders.. I did it.. my body did it!! Last IUI my biggest follicle was a 19 altho I also had a 16 and a 17 so I had high chances for multiples yet no bfp! Maybe what I really need is one really nice plump round follicle that's mature and strong!

Keeping fingers crossed!!
The Infertile Mrs.White

Friday, January 17, 2014

CD13 Menopur 150iu D11

I gave myself my injection again tonight BY CHOICE! haha I wanted hubby to take a video of me doing it.. We document all little things and I made a scrapbook for IUI#1, I have all the stuff to make the IUI#2 one and now I'm accumulating all small but meaningful memories to make the 3rd. (Hopefully the last!)

Check it out!!!

My followup #3 is tomorrow early morning.. I sadly have to go alone since hubby is working but I promised him I would take a video of the monitor to show him the progress! So far I have a video for every followup apt.. I'm gonna have to work on posting them soon.. gotta figure that out first haha.. I'm REALLY hoping it's not the Dr we don't like tomorrow because I'm pretty sure my follicles will finally be the right size and I want a good ultrasound experience with alot of valid good information, especially since I'll be alone this time, Dr's intimidate me, especially that one grouchy lady.. So hoping for the best and hoping I can fall asleep early tonight to not be so drained and tired tomorrow.. Gotta love those 4 hour car ride there and back.. Ugh. Life!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

CD12 Menopur 150iu D10

Guess who injected herself tonight!! 

Yep, that's right, I worked till late and I didn't have a choice to suck it up and do it myself. 
I feel pretty stupid for not trying before.. it oddly hurt alot less doing it myself, no idea why! 
The burn was definitively still very much present but I pushed threw it and I think having control over how fast the flow of medicine is going into me made a huge difference.. 

Tomorrow night I shall attempt to inject myself again.. Hoping tomorrow is my last Menopur injection!! I have my Follow up #3 on Saturday morning and I'm really hoping to trigger that night!! Keeping fingers crossed they keep growing at a good rate and get stronger each day.. (I want them nice and strong for trigger time!)

This is today's picture of yesterday's injection area. 
It's so weird, I don't get bruises like I did with the Gonal-F, 
instead I get red spots, they usually last 2 days then go away. 
Not the best picture, kinda hard taking a selfie of my stomach area! :P

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

CD10 Menopur 150iu D8

I still have a bruise on my arm from my bloodwork on Sunday morning. The nurse really moved the needle around.. It sure wasn't a pleasent blood drawn experience. 

On a better note last nights injection went alright.. I worked till late so I got a co-worker to do it for me. I lost a bit of injection fluid in the process and when she was done I looked down and for some weird reason the liquid was coming out from the injection spot so I wiped it then I started to bleed. So weird and since I wasn't looking I have no idea if she gave me the injection properly but at this point it's too late and I'm just happy it's over. The liquid really stung when it was being injected and I needed to sit down for a good 5 mins after. 

Tomorrow is my follow up #2, really hoping it goes well. 

The Infertile Mrs.White 

CD9 Menopur 150iu D7

Injection Day 7

Today's injection was the best one so far... hubby did a great job.. I don't know if it's because he tried out a new area on my stomach (lower then usual).. the injection went right in, did not hit anything although once the injection liquid started being injected it still stung/burned really bad like all the other times. The injection spot bled after but I did not have my usual pain (burning for a good 20 minutes after the injection). This time I got the usual burn sensation for about 2 minutes then I was good to go. 

Tomorrow I work till an hour and a half past my injection time, hopefully I can get someone to inject me because I'm still too scared to inject myself (needle phobia problem). Gonal-F I had no problem injecting myself but it looked like a "pen" and not an actual needle also the "pen" had a mechanism inside that let the liquid come out at an even pace where as the Menopur the flow all depends on the person injecting it.. bah we shall see what happens tomorrow. 

The Infertile Mrs.White

Sunday, January 12, 2014

CD8 Ultrasound pics from FollowUp apt.

The following are pictures I was able to snag (take pics of).. after our ultrasound, I get dressed then go to the nurses corner and they give us info on when to come back and all that fun stuff.. this time since it's Sunday the Pharmacy where we get the meds from are closed so the clinic keeps some supplies in stock for the people like us who live outside of town. The nurse had to go and get the meds I needed, during this time.. my file was just sitting there wide open for all to see (including myself haha).. So I took quick pics of the ultrasound pics and also took a pic of my chart haha but can't post, there was my personal address and info stuff but it's pretty great I was able to haha.. I was being all sneaky my husband was laughing at me because every time I'd hear a noise or steps I'd jump and pretend like I wasn't snooping threw my large file haha. 

This is my lining.. 0.685

My winner so far... a whooping 11!!! (Right Ovary)

Two smaller ones.. 8.2 & 7.8 (Right Ovary)

8.8 .. (Left Ovary)

9.4 ..  (Left ovary)

The Infertile Mrs.White

CD8 :Follow Up #1

Follow Up Blood Work & Ultrasound #1

Menopur 150iu D6
E2: 361
Lining: 0.685cm 
Right Ovary: 11 / 8.2 / 9.4 / 6.8
Left Ovary:  9 / 8.4  / 8.7

Wahoo!! We got an 11.. altho I really thought I'd see a 14, wishful thinking :P

We were the before last clients at the clinic and they were crazy busy... We waited around in the waiting room for over 2 hours!!! That's what happens when we don't get there ridiculously early in the am to grab a number before everyone else and wait an hour before the clinic even opens.. Gotta love first come first serve system. Hubby got home from work at 7:30am this morning so we weren't able to leave at our usual 6:40-7am to get there on time. (weekend clinic hours) On top of it, the clinic was WAY busier then it usually is. We were so tired from being up so early and hubby from not sleeping at all since his overnight shift... and the combination of waiting around in a waiting room for so long made us cranky mixed with comedians haha! We made a couple funny videos while we were waiting in this little room for the ultrasound room to be available. Lack of sleep + lack of patience = crazy us!

Here this was me being silly.. Hubby wanted to take a picture and I was doing the thumps up, then I was like wait a minute, today sucks, we are exhausted and it's not even noon yet! haha so I was in the midst of doing thumbs down :P 

Not to mention I was in ALOT of pain at this point.. sitting for over 2 hours made my ovaries really sore and I wanted to get this over with.. I was soooo curious to see what size they were since I was in so much pain I wanted answers that justified how I was feeling.. 
We waited a good 20 minutes in this little room and this was me not too empressed. I over heard them talk about a lady who needed a last minute IUI performed, apparently there was a mix up somewhere and well I got bumped and had to wait even longer sitting in the little room naked under a white bed sheet. Not pleased at all.   SUCKS!

From this minute on, I made hubby promise to never be on time or late again.. If we aren't very early then we don't get seen for hours! Like week days clinic opens at 7:45 and we usually get there at 6:45 to wait in line at the elevator for it to unlock and let us up at 7:15 to then wait some more for the receptionist to open her area at 7:45 for the numbers to then line up and we go in to check in with her by order of first come first serve with the number we grabbed on the way in. Then only around 8am do they actually start calling in the patients to be seen and get blood work done. This is what I mean by LOOONG mornings.. and if your not one of those people who are between numbers 1 and 6 you'll be waiting for ages! There must have been over 30 women today and we were the before last one! So imagine how long we waited around for... The worst part is on weekends we need to get blood work done at the hospital since the clinic blood lab is closed, the hospital blood lab opens at 9 then we have to rush to the clinic. We got to the blood lab at 9:30am.. got my blood drawn right away then rushed to the clinic and the waiting room was packed! We couldn't believe it.. we weren't even that late!!! Never again I tell ya, I told husband I rather go alone then be late again.. the wait was that bad.

The only good part about today was that we got the Dr we liked! She is so sweet, patient, understanding, explains everything about what she is doing during the ultrasound and she was aware my husband was making a video of the screen so she really went into details and explained the measurements and so on. It was a really great experience, she sure was able to turn a shitty morning into a better afternoon :) I really have to work on getting my video's up and running.. This one is so worth sharing, we really love this Dr! 

Mileage we put on my car from home to the Edmonton Clinic, to Starbucks to home.

The "Glad to be home" Infertile Mrs.White

Young kids in fertility clinic waiting room

I'm sitting at the clinic, the waitin room is full, I've never seen it that busy at one time before. Not to metion today people feel the need to bring their kids in the waiting room. A little girl probably around 5 years old just being really loud and when she finally leaves a dad brings in his really happy baby who's really talkative (baby gibberish) I can't look at them.. I'm sitting here in so much pain, sitting, standing, laying down the pain doesn't go away.. I understand why people bring their kids with them but at the same time weren't they in our shoes at some point too?? And aren't they trying again if their here again?? Don't they remember how shitty it feels to sit there praying for a miracle... Ugh. 

Hubby got home from work around 7:30 made me so nervous, I've been up since 5:20am I've showered, shaved, made a lunch for the day, took the dogs out twice, went to get gas and picked up coffee and breakfast for hubby so all he had to do was change and out the door. We usually LEAVE the house at 6:45 because we like to be early and give time incase the roads are bad. I drove because hubby needed to rest up a bit. 

We got to the hospital at 9:30 rushed for a washroom break then blood work in the main part of the hospital then walked to the fertility clinic building rushing all morning to arrive to a PACKED waiting room... I have a feeling the wait will be minimum an hour and a half... Now I remember why we always arrive here so early.. Avoid all the people and looong wait. 

The irritated Mrs.White 

Saturday, January 11, 2014

CD7 Monopur 150iu D5

5 days worth of injections.. I wonder how much more I'll need..

I'm really happy to be where I am now. To have a chance at yet another IUI and to have such an amazing supportive husband. 

BUT... I'm exhausted, I think I forgot how draining the really early drive to Edmonton Clinic is.. How long my days end up, how painful the injections are, how shitty the side effects are, how moody and emotional I get.

I forgot how much I pray, hope and try and remind myself daily why I'm doing this.

It's so hard going threw this part of the journey and staying strong when nothing is certain, you work your ass off,  you go on crazy diets and food restrictions, you stop drinking alcohol, you stop drinking caffeine.. Your in pain for weeks yet I still have nothing to show for it (5 cycles of clomid and now 3 iui's). We dish out so much money, so much time & energy and get so emotionally drained. I wish I could fast forward threw this part to two weeks from now. 

I'm really not enjoying these new injections and hopefully tomorrow I'll hear what I want to hear.. that my ovaries grew exactly to where they wanted them to be (haha, I can only dream) but at least that way it would justify all the pain I'm feeling.. I seriously feel like someone blew up my ovaries, not 5 days worth of injection but like they just blew up instantly. 

I feel miserable today. I've had a horrible horrible headache again all day and I mean ALL DAY. There is seriously nothing I can do to lower the pain or make it go away completely. I took a tylenol but it didn't make a dent. I'm at the point where slamming my head in the wall looks like a good idea :( My head has been boiling all day and so have my ovaries.. They are so warm to the touch and I can definitely feel them working.  I'm so hormonal today it's insane! Good thing today is my day off work and a sunny Saturday at that! 

My injection did not go so good today. I got it all ready and hubby injected it, OMG did it ever kill from the minute he pieced my skin to a good 15 minutes later. He must have hit something on the way in and when the injection liquid started going in my entire body was yelling, I did not want to react or yell out loud because I did not want hubby to panic and either yank it out or push the liquid in quicker so I just stood there, closed my eyes and bit hard on my lip hoping I wouldn't pass out. When he said "done" I was like holy hell that hurt, I was like you hit something and it killed, he admitted he felt the needle hit something.. ugh makes me weak in the knees. I don't have a bruise but the injection area is definitely really sore to the touch.

My emotions today are all over the place. I've spent almost all day alone since hubby slept in late since he got home from work at 7 this morning and then he went to the gym and got ready for work (cooked food for his lunch, shower and so on) so I didn't really get to actually see him much. While he was sleeping I went to the grocery store and got myself some more groceries.. --- I don't think I've mentioned it yet but I'm going 100% gluten-free for the month of January. So far so good and I'm really enjoying this challenge. There are alot of gluten-free foods in grocery stores now a days so it makes it alot easier to stick to this plan. I'm not doing it to loose weight although that would be a great bonus.. I'm doing this more as a personal challenge.. I want to test my will power and challenge myself in cooking fun healthy meals. I fell off the wagon mid November and all of December I eat horrible and I was fully aware of it, I didn't care and I was going threw a phase where I was down and depressed and hated being away from family and friends over the holidays and the weeks leading to the holidays and eat my feelings I guess... So January I am taking control again. I did not want to go all dramatic and do sugar-free and dairy-free because that would just be so un-realistic for me at this point.. I've tried it a couple months ago and I failed couple weeks in.. Gluten-free is a good start for me and it is motivating the more days go by that I haven't cheated. I can still have my sweets (as long as their gluten-free) and that makes me happy haha. I'm about 95% dairy-free but that's not really by choice.. I'm lactose intolorent. --- When I got home, put everything away and did some crafts. I recently got alot of new Stampin' Up stuff (I'm a demonstrator) so I've been trying to grow my supplies and I haven't had the chance to play with them yet so all week I had planned that today (Saturday) would be reserved to creating and I had planned to be very productive and get all the things I wanted to get done, done. I was fine for about an hour then my head started hurting alot more and I was having trouble focusing on my projects. I was getting really impatient and my ovaries were starting to really ache again. They have been achy all day on and off. I took a break, made myself some food and went back at it.. I've been trying to make tutorial videos I can put on youtube (never done that before..) but they weren't working out, I was loosing focus, I was so out of it and everything took longer then it usually would so I just gave up... hubby gave me my injection around 5:45 and then I had to lay down on the couch because it hurt so bad, then about 20 minutes later I wasn't able to sit upright on the couch, my ovaries were killing me and I could definitely feel that the injection was already hard at work.. so I laid down and watched Netflix again and now I'm mad because today was supposed to be a productive day, it was my only day off work where I got to be home all day and barely got what I wanted to get done, done. Bahh..

Tomorrow is our first follow up ultrasound and blood work for this cycle. I can't wait to know how big my follicles are because I can definitely feel them! Really hoping we don't need more then 2 more days of Menopur.. (probably isn't the case) and I'm going to have to start my Progesterone injections sometime soon I take it. He did not mention anything about that at our baseline ultrasound.. and my Dr will not be in the office tomorrow so hoping it's marked clearly in my file.. I've never done the progesterone injections before so hoping this is where we went wrong the first 2 times.. Nervous and excited for tomorrow

Off I go to listen to my circle and bloom Cd and catch some ZZZZzZzzz.

The Infertile Hormonal Mrs.White

CD6 Menopur 150iu D4

I'm starting to get some weird side effects today...

  • The typical sore ovaries.. I can definitely feel them growing and I can definitely feel that they are taking up alot more room in there.
  • Burning sensation around my ovaries.
  • Weird painful pressure when I sit upright, I have to slouch when I sit to re-leave the pressure/pain. 
  • Mood swings.. I get irritated with the smallest things..  
  • Emotional.. I feel overly sad and wanna cry out of the blue all the time.. things on tv, my dogs being cute, people driving by, facebook statuses.. I want to cry of joy and sadness all at the same time all the time.. I feel lonely and battling all sorts of emotions threw out the day in my head.. it's so draining.  
  • I feel brain dead.. my brain feels like I haven't slept in 48 hours but I've been sleeping my regular sleep pattern. I feel like my brain response is delayed and my reflex.. like all day even my husband noticed. My brain is foggy. 
  • Horrible horrible headaches and nothing like my usual chronic migraines. This is like deep deep in my brain it aches real bad and nothing I do makes it feel better (ice on my head, all lights off, lay on couch, deep breathing, squeezing my temples..) 
The only drugs I'm allowed to take is Tylenol, I took 1 but it didn't do anything to change the pain. Tylenol is like candy to me since I've been taking it since I'm 6 years old. I find myself bitching and complaining about my headache all day because it's the only thing I can do. My eyes even got really red towards the evening and no relief would work. When I got home from work my husband gave me my shot before he left for work and I laid down on the couch with all the lights off and watched Netflix. I tried sitting in the quiet but it seemed to make it worst, so I put on a documentary on Netflix and put all my focus into watching that and not the pain.. I was sooo tired but couldn't fall asleep, I tried but when I closed my eyes my headache seemed worst.. so I literally watched tv will I couldn't keep my eyes open.. then I dragged my butt to bed, put on my cd "Circle and Bloom" wearing my ear phones and passed right out 5 minutes in. I woke up probably a good 45 minutes later and realized it was still playing in my ears so I threw it on the ground and passed back out. Hubby got home at 7am the next day (works overnights this week/weekend). I vaguely remember him coming home. 

Injection Day 4

The Infertile Mrs.White 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

CD5 Menopur 150iu D3

Injection day 3 looked like this. 

Once again I rushed home from work for hubby to inject me before he leaves for work. Today's injection went better then the first 2. I don't know if it's because my brain and body know better what to expect and reacts accordingly or if it's because we were in a rush to inject cause hubby was going to be late I didn't really have time to psych myself out it just kinda all happened quick and before I knew it he was gone and I was on the couch relaxing with my dogs watching Netflix. Half an hour later I def could feel something was going on in my ovaries.. This feeling reminds me that the pain from the injection is worth it because it's working. 

I'm so curious to know how much my follicles grow everyday from each injection and I'm really wondering how many injection days I'll need for this cycle. Iui 1 and 2 were around 16 injection days but with low Gonal-f dosages. Never tried Menopur before let alone 150iu of meds so I'm real curious and lookin forward to our first follow up on Sunday! 

The Infertile but hopeful Mrs.White.  

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

CD4 Menopur 150iu D2

Day 2 of injections

Left work half an hour early so I can rush home before hubby leaves for work so he can inject me. I'm way too scared of not being able to follow threw. Even when hubby is injecting me everything in my body wants me to just pull away. I don't know why this brand burns so much like during the injection till a good 15 minutes later. 

I would love to say I'm gonna be strong threw this cycle and do it all myself but this won't be the case... Not this time. 

The Infertilr Mrs.White 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

CD3 Menopur 150iu D1

This just happened! 150iu Menopur. Omg it BURNT!!! I thought I was going to pass out hubby made me lay down. It stung so much I'm scared I won't be able to do it on my own tomorrow at work. 

This is how my day went...
Alarm went off at 4:00am 
In the shower by 4:05
Hubby filled car with gas and got us coffees while I got ready and took dogs out. 
Out the door driving away by 5:05am 
It was pitch black out the whole way there. 
Got to the clinic at 7:02, it was still dark out. 
Had time to make a washroom break before grabbing a number in the waiting room. I was number 2! 

I was exhausted from lack of sleep so not my most flattering picture but this was me waiting for the Doctor to come.. Waited a good 10 minutes and the darkness of the room made me sleepier and more anxious.  It was 8:10 when we finally saw the Dr.. Makes for a lot of waiting around. 

This was the weather when we got out of the clinic. Grey and gloomy.  This is a pic of the highway leaving Edmonton. It snowed parts of the way home and the highway was slick, icy and saw a lot of cars in the ditch. Made for a stressful drive home luckily hubby was the one driving so I could rest up before going to work. 

Me wearing my new prescribed sun glasses. Ordered them online and they arrived yesterday so got to test them out today :) although it was so grey out only wore them for 5 minutes lol. 

This was me in the car.. Contemplating how im gonna inject myself today during work.. Since I'd be at a restaurant with my client during my injection time period..  Dirty Washroom stall injection didn't sound too appealing especially for day 1 of injecting this new med I haven't used before... 

Turns out I got a really bad migraine at work and asked to leave after 4 hours of work so I worked noon to 4 and went home. I was way too exhausted from my looong morning to make it threw work till 8pm and have to drive home.

Good thing I did because I chickened out when it came to injecting myself.. I got the injection ready and mixed the solution and all that fun stuff by myself.. Then I was holding the injection to my stomach area and couldn't get myself to stab it in!! My hand started to shake and Hubby had to jump to my rescue and inject me. The liquid stung so bad hubby said I turned white and I had to lay on the couch cause I felt light headed. I have a needle phobia and with Gonal-F it didn't really look like a needle and the injection didn't burn and it helped you make sure to inject slowly with the mechanism the pen has... This Menopur is an actual needle needle! (if I'm making any sense..)

Guys I have no idea how I'm gonna inject myself tomorrow :( it burnt/stung so much (post injection) that I'm scared to get it done again. Ughhhh!! 

The Infertile Mrs.White

Sunday, January 5, 2014

CD1 Here we go again!

Here we go!!

I've never been so happy to start my period!
This means we are finally on our way to starting our 3rd IUI cycle.
AF started today around noon and I called the Fertility Clinic right away to book my baseline ultrasound for day 3. This means my appointment is Tuesday morning.

I took progesterone pills on December 23rd till January 1st (10 days) in order to give myself a period. I was getting really nervous when it wasn't starting.. I've seriously never been so happy to see red! I feel so useless every month I'm not actively trying to get pregnant.. 3rd time better be a charm! I'm going in this with a positive attitude because this round HAS to work!! My best friend just got her BFP on New Years Eve and how amazing would it be to be pregnant together, it's what we used to talk about when we were kids. This is her 2nd pregnancy, they have been trying for over 8 months. I'm really happy for her and I can't help but feel like maybe it's my time too.. it would be perfect timing.. So I want to stay positive threw the entire process and stress the least possible to give myself the highest chance possible. I'm going in with "this HAS to work" attitude.

Man do I ever love my husband! Sometimes I forget how much he actually listens to my every word. Months ago I told him about the Cycle and Bloom CD's and how I've read about them on couple blogs and was really curious about it. That night he downloaded a small preview of the CD and we listened to it in bed. It was so relaxing and I think he enjoyed it too. Weeks went by and we kind of forgot about it. To my surprise, yesterday he actually bought the CD online and surprised me with it in bed. He knew I was nervous about my period not starting right away and he wanted me to relax. Oddly enough my period started today. It was probably not by chance but I'll take it as a little sign of faith. Starting my cycle today means my baseline ultrasound is on day 3 witch brings us to Tuesday witch is perfect because that's the only day of the week where I only start work at noon-8pm. It will be an extremely long day but at least I wont have to stress about rushing to the appointment, then to the pharmacy to pick up the injections then drive another 2 hours to get to work. We usually try to get to the clinic for 7am and we usually make it to the pharmacy by 9am.  If my follow up appointment is 5 days later like it has been for the other 2 IUI it will bring us to Sunday witch is great because this means I don't work and we will be able to go shop around.. I've been real eager to go to IKEA and get a couple storage items.

Going to bed now, looking forward to my Cycle and Bloom Cycle day 1!

The Infertile Mrs.White

Wednesday, January 1, 2014