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Friday, February 21, 2014

1 Year Anniversary with Fertility Dr.

Today marks our 1 year anniversary with our Fertility Specialist Dr.Cumming. (yes this is really his name). I still remember  Our First appointment  and how hopeful and excited we were to finally have that initial appointment. It took me months and lots of tears in my family Dr's office to even get on the waiting list for the fertility clinic.. for some stupid reason my family Dr never took me serious.. like c'mon, I was a married 25 year old with pcos, whose been ttc for years with 5 failed clomid cycle and still it took me sitting in his office crying saying I'm not leaving your office till you do something to get me on that list or at least make calls to get my clomid dosage higher since apparently he wasn't allowed to, it would have had to come from a gynecologist that followed me. Anyways a week after my fit in his office I got a call from the fertility clinic with an appointment.. Yay right?.. Only down point was that it was for in over 9 full months down the road!!! That's like the length of being pregnant it's nuts and that wait felt like forever!! Not to mention I had to watch everyone else around me announce their pregnancy and see their babies be born before I even got that appointment but months went by and it came and now it's been a year and we're still at the same place we were 3 years ago.. still waiting for a miracle.

This journey has definitely tested our patience and stretched our faith and hope. Now here we are, it's officially been 1 year since that first initial appointment with the Fertility Dr.

- Tons of paperwork asking questions about our health and history
- MANY bloodwork drawns to test what feels like absolutely everything possible
- HSG procedure done (Hysterosalpingogram) .. aka my tubes are good to go
- AFC done (Antrol Follicle Count)
- SIS done (Saline Infusion Sonohysterogram)
- Thyroid medication dosages were up'd twice in 6 weeks
- Countless baseline ultrasounds
- Countless ultrasounds to check the growth of my follicles
- 2 accounts hubby had to get his sperm tested and counted.
- 3 accounts hubby had to produce sperm for my iui's
- 3 failed IUI's with injections (Gonal-F with Ovidrel, / Menopur with Hcg)
- Progesterone tablets to support after 3rd IUI
- Many Follow Up appointments to ask "What went wrong? & What's next??"

I really didn't think I'd be saying that IVF is now our next step in our journey. For some reason I was so hopeful when it came to the IUI's.. I mean my body produced really nice follicles and my husbands sperm has great volume and quality... yet it keeps failing. I'm trying so hard to now be hopeful for IVF but I can't help to be really scared and be very realistic.. I've done my research and IVF is definitively NOT guaranteed a healthy born baby. Sooo much can happen from growing follicles inside the ovaries to extracting them from the ovaries to growing the eggs in a dish to re-inserting the 5 day old embryos to that BFP test, to a healthy pregnancy to a safe and successful delivery.

As things stand now, IVF still feels like a dream and something to only happen way down the line.. especially since we have to wait till we save up that amount and get my line of credit extended. (We had a apt with my bank last Friday and we had to get some papers organised, signed and faxed over and we only got that done this Wednesday so we are still waiting to find out if we got accepted or not and how much). Once we know, this will take a HUGE load off my shoulders and then saving up will feel much more realistic because at this point what is $700 when you need $10 000++. I really need to book an apt with Dr.Cumming to talk about IVF and I want him to give us everything we need to know about the procedure and meds and all that stuff while we save up money at least this way it will feel more real and I'd really like factual numbers... divide exactly how much money will go to what part of the IVF process. I remember a little while back we had asked him some quick questions about that and I wrote them down somewhere... I'll have to go back and read some old posts and make a new one..

I am happy to be here, at the same time I'm sad that my infertility has lead us to our last option (of conceiving on our own) and that it's gonna cost us WAY more then we ever expected. I'm also scared.. scared of the process, the needles, the side effect, the pain, the 2ww, missing work, surgery, recovery, stress.. all of it... but hopeful that we still have this option available to try. All in all, it's a whirlwind of emotions.

The Infertile Mrs.White